Monday, March 3, 2014

Death is never far

Last year and this year have been full of funerals.
Mostly older relatives.
But a cousin my age is not doing well. I fear to say, death may be upon him.
Long story short, he misused medications without the guidance of a Doctor. It's just out of ignorance and belief that his dad knows best (his dad is a quack doctor and knows nothing).
The result is a younger man than I whose kidneys have failed and is on dialysis.
To make matters worse, the loss of kidneys has affected other parts of his body. He's bedridden and suffers from poor circulation and he's almost totally blind.
For an artist to be blind is a terrible fate to contemplate. I really felt for him.

I can only look on as he struggled like that. It is hard to watch it.
I have full command of my faculties, strong and capable.
 There he is, just struggling to survive. Just lying there. In darkness.
Unable to read his comic book collection.

His mom suggested they sell them to buy medication.
I thought it might kill his will to fight completely if that vanishes --I just said it might help to have them around so he can read them if his eyes get better. But I think we all know they won't.
Very sad. And very tragic.

Tonight, I breathe in air, I drink water.
Taste good food. We are lucky.
Lucky to be alive and to be just looking at the internet reading other people's posts.
We're not hungry, wanting or sick...

We are well. And I hope to be that way for a long time.
Because I love life. I want to live a long time.
Death stared at me today.
I have to tell it. not today. Not tomorrow.

And if I and our generation should be lucky and we push hard enough for medical life extensions, maybe not for a long time.
Maybe not ever.

There's so much to see, enjoy and people to talk with and share love...
Let us tell death...
Not today. Not tonight.
I got miles to go before I sleep.