The new bed

Well, all the other bothers aside, the new bed is working out well.
The futon frame matches perfectly with the foam.
Almost like it was meant to be.

Tonight is a cold night, though.
And I'm pretty down with a looming flu.
This'll be a test.
Getting sick is part of life.
It'll be fine, I suppose. This is part of it.
I embrace it with a freedom and the fervor of a mad fox.

See you tomorrow.

Want to Vanish

Usually I am an upbeat person. I still am.
But I am exhausted dealing with the people around me and in my life in general.
I want to disappear for a while and boy I was sure tempted today.
I just wasn't feeling well today.
Otherwise, I would have just taken off for lands unknown. Being tied to one spot is really driving me crazy. I should not have volunteered for this or that... or to offer my assistance to a relative...
I am cursing my kind nature right now.
Sometimes it can be a weakness.
Now I can't take off until I see my charges off to a good state.

More than that, I am really tempted to just take off and vanish for a while. No e-mail, facebook or any of this crap. I'm tired of it all.

Ah well... this too shall pass.
Maybe I am thinking this only because I feel pretty crappy right now.
Well, that too shall pass.

New futon bed!

Here is a view of my current setup with my closet area on the left. I moved some of the heaviest crates with my books there on the left side of the vehicle so weight distribution is more balanced.

MY New Futon arrangement: I took out that folding part and kept the basic wood and steel framing. Put some crates in the center (storage and stability). Here is the bed propped up to show the crate storage beneath.

Here is the back of my van more organized this time around... (laundry basket on the left and various knicknacks like books, cotton balls and astringent)

The futon bed with frame in place.

Here is something I did recently. I put all my backpacks on hangers and hung them in a row on the shower rod. 

Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

I sure have plenty to thank about this holiday. Where to begin? Well, it's not as if I haven't listed all these things in another post elsewhere...

Being a van dweller is one thing to thank about. Sure, it's not a condo or a ranch house, but it sure beats being in a tent for more than a year... (just ask any random resident of Port Au Prince to see how they'd consider my lodgings palatial)

Being independent finally from the land lord is another thing to be thankful for.
I do want to own my own land one day, but it'll be on my own terms --not someone else's.
(and picking up a discarded futon frame thrown in my old apartment complex)

I have plentiful food stocks... savings in my bank accounts... good health (except for carpal tunnel but it ain't that bad)... Many things to be thankful for.

Finally, I am thankful for family and friends.
True to my attempt at seriously doing this van living, I really don't impose on them at all for anything. Not showers, not meals, nada. (except of course when we come over at their invitation, and they serve us food... )

Last of all, as a sort of P.S., I guess I am thankful I had the guts at all to try this out.
It's been paying off nicely and slowly over the days.
I look forward to even colder nights (I happen to like the cold and sleep well like a bear). It's gonna be plenty fun and I can just feel it!

Cheers and happy holidays to all!

Homeless part 2

So 2 months into this... how does it feel?
People ask me how the van thing is going...
I say it's going wonderfully.
Do I miss having an apartment? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.

Do I dwell on it a lot?
Not really. I think that's one of the keys to overcoming the anxiety that comes at unexpected times.

I have a home. And when I hear people talking about the economy and nearing the end of the rope, I actually feel secure that I have my home on wheels and I can just drive away and setup somewhere else.
It's also a good feeling knowing your assets are all liquid and can easily be carried to another destination.

I find it is relearning a new definition of the word "secure" from the meaning we attached to it since we were small.
It's different for everyone and I know that.
For me, my definition of security now lies in the knowledge that I do have the resources available and ready for me anytime I am in need. And this means that my assets aren't locked up anywhere where I cannot move them fast and immediately.
That's now my new reality. :)

What about "Security"?

So living this life of vagabondery...
Living our lives without as much as a by your leave...
Gypsies free as the wind...

What about security? Don't you get asked that? What about your own (usually financial) security?

Well, living like this doesn't mean I should remove my responsibilities towards ensuring my own well being.
It's just that because I have pared my life to very little overhead, it doesn't take much money to maintain my life.

But mistake it not, I feel secure.
I make money... sometimes plenty of it.
I save some too... sometimes in places I cannot touch so I don't spend it.
Having said that, I must say I invest my money in people... not corporations.
Friendships and loved ones, not in stocks.

And here's why:

When you spend your money on people, I believe you get a better return on your investment in terms of companionship, love and loyalty.
Take this example. I have a wealthy aunt out on the West coast. You can never count on her to help financially or otherwise. Not even her own sisters could ask for aid.
She loves talking about "personal responsibility" and coming up "the hard way" --sound familiar?
Oh, you bet it does.
In fact, my relatives who all talk like that... are all curiously wealthy... but have very few true friends.
Then of course, the financial meltdown happened and all that money my aunt was hoarding "for her own security"?
Well, you can guess what happened to all that trust placed in a corporation and complete strangers...


I have another aunt farther away in our homeland... she saved almost nothing during times of plenty --always lending and giving people aid and money. But when hard times struck, those who criticized her (Aunt #1 included) said: "See? if she saved all her money, she would not be in this situation she finds herself in!"
But then, those who she helped and she was kind to helped and rallied around her. And money does come... sometimes from unexpected places (one source was me --I never needed her aid, yet I donated because she was my aunt and in need --yeah, the guy with the least salary among my relatives had something to give.).
My aunt did not get a bonanza in return. She got enough to get her over her crisis... just enough. Today, she is doing better than ever.

So, who among the two aunts can you say lives a life more secure?
Every year around this time, we see reruns of "It's a wonderful Life". I think another lesson can be learned from that which does happen in real life... Not just that you matter, but what I draw from that is that George Bailey gave everything he got without holding back... and in the end, everyone whom he helped really did rally around him in his time of need.

It's really a micro version of what social governments strive to do and are all about. We all need each other and no man is an island. The community helps one another in times of good and bad.

Barring any financial disaster, you can make a really good life investing in stocks and bonds... the proliferation of retirement communities is proof of this. And that's their choice... to live there in gated apartments... their children (most often) living far away... them and their spouses going on cruise ships... it's a financially secure life with no surprises. Then of course, they'll will be able to afford a caregiver to wipe their bottoms when they reach old age... and a high class hospital for the end of life care... (getting the one visitor they get a day, if at all)... If they're happy with this, hey, that's their choice.
In my experience, though, having witnessed this type of life a lot in others... it's a life not worth looking forward to.
of course, it would be great to have the best of both worlds... to invest in your loved ones and in your own stock portfolios. But that scenario is rarely the case for normal folks. It's mostly either or for the rest of us.

I choose to be George Bailey --or be like Aunt #2. They are blessed in friends and family... True loyalty and love can never be bought.

Temporary stuff

So the other day, I was online on one of those social networking sites and my Mom posted up pictures of her visit to my cousin (around my age) who has this really nice home in some subdivision. So am I jealous? Do I feel bad? Not at all.
He sacrificed a LOT to get that house --working long hours most probably and having only weekends as a respite if any. His vacation is limited to the 3 weeks he gets annually and has to rush through places to get everything done. He has to go to the office come Monday without fail. That is his choice.

I chose a different path. One where I do earn less, but enjoy my life more. I get to knock off and go on 2 hour lunches if I want to... come in late or clock off early. These kinds of jobs pay less, but the freedom it affords those of us who have them is priceless.

When we consider geological time, everything we build on this earth is temporary.

I have another cousin who also had a grand home. But he died recently (age 45) due to cancer (may he rest in peace).
So what was all that effort all about, then?
If you knew you had cancer and had seven months, would you not regret spending all those hours in the office under stress when you can be enjoying your life, your spouse and your children more?
So what if little Johnny cannot have his own WII?
Suddenly, having that ipad isn't that important anymore, isn't it?

To top it all off, my poor cousin spent a huge chunk of his life in bitter acrimony with his sister and her husband. Only at the end did they reconcile --minutes before he expired.

And for what? Because he thinks his new brother in law is not as wealthy as he was and was undeserving of his sister? What a lot of good years wasted on hate and arguing... and what a senseless way to live one's life.

And it has been proven that cancer is affected by people's mood. Happier and more positive people heal their cancers faster --sometimes overnight while negative people usually heal slower or their cancer gets worse. You just have to ask yourself: "what if"?

The lesson I drew from all this is that everything on this realm is temporary.
Very, VERY temporary no matter what some might think or assume.
We all have an appointment with death. Whether we are given 7 months to live or 7 decades, why is it that we only change our priorities when we are at death's door?

So what do we want to get out of our 80 years of existence?
Do we really want to spend the majority  of our lives (as Nigel Marsh puts it) doing things we don't want, to please people we don't like and to impress people we don't love?

My answer is I don't want to bother with accumulating all this extra "stuff". No matter what happens, you will always end up wanting more and you will lose it all in the end and all you got to show for it is a lavish funeral if you're that wealthy. (which does your dead body no good anyway since you're going to rot no matter what)

I want to get just enough. And "enough" can mean many things to different people.

My definition of "enough" is 3 decent meals a day plus snacks... adequate shelter, clothes and a purpose in life.
My purpose right now is to make educational stories and history books.

When we look at nature, birds spend less time building nests and more time enjoying each other. A lot of us do the exact reverse. We spend a lot of time accumulating things and less time enjoying our loved ones. And as many of us know, time is running away fast.

At the end of each our lives, we will ask ourselves if all of what we were doing was worth it.
I don't want to reach the end of my life to ask that question.
I will ask myself today.

Arranged a little bit

Sunday today. Opened up the back of Great White and rearranged a few crates to better make my living space more efficient. I still am not fully decked out the way I want it, but once again, it'll do for my current purposes. I just don't want to trip all over the boxes and things I have scattered on the floor.

I saw a 22 foot Damon escaper 1992 on the internet. That kind of layout, I really dig with the kitchen at the back with a door exit there at the rear. So today, I mostly spent looking at other RV sites and dreaming and calculating... :) Always good to have a goal up front... something to look forward to.

The simplicity of life

As I type this, I am lying in my snug little home.
I entered tonight through the back doors of the van like I have been doing lately. I have to stoop to get in and the very act reminds me of how little birds have to scrunch themselves in order to get into their nest.
They hesitate at the opening, look around and then go head first into the hold and suddenly vanish inside.

It really doesn't take much to be happy, I am finding.
I thought this would be harder than I imagined, but as I live day by day, I find it becoming really easy to live like this.
(again the thought of if I only did this when I was 30, I'd probably have more saved up now than... well, you know what I mean)
I have the basics of shelter, food and clothing. And the nights aren't as cold as I first imagined them to be. I actually sweated last night because of all the blanket layers (2).

So snug in my little nest, it is nice to contemplate life and all of its simplicity.

Why we have to make things complicated for ourselves is what amuses me these days.
Of course, I can talk like this because I am single and have no other responsibilities. So this life is suitable for me and my current situation.

I love what I am doing and the freedom is incredible.
Free like a bird. Living with the squirrels and the deer just outside my door...